


Wildest Dreams

by zonaskye



Series: Lavellan [9]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition, Solas - Fandom, Solavellan - Fandom
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-14
Updated: 2015-09-14
Packaged: 2018-04-20 19:52:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4800170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zonaskye/pseuds/zonaskye
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sort of a head cannon on before and after the Crestwood scene, plus in-depth description of the Crestwood scene, because I like breaking my own heart I guess.<br/>Note: Implied sex<br/>Songs I used as inspiration:<br/>Wildest Dreams- Taylor Swift<br/>When the Day Met the Night- Panic! At the Disco<br/>Candles- Daughter<br/>Everything- Ben Howard<br/>Over the Love- Florence and the Machine<br/>Running with the Wolves- Aurora</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wildest Dreams

It had been a long week.

Lavellan, Solas, The Iron Bull, Morrigan, and Cole had all gone to the Temple of Mythal in the Arbor Wilds, and the entire trip had been extremely exhausting. They had discovered so many beautiful and dangerous truths; Lavellan felt the weight of all that was relying on her pushing her down. She had chosen to drink from the vir'abelasan, or the Well of Sorrows, and the voices from the Well whispered in her head, giving her a constant headache. If only she could understand what they were trying to say, maybe she wouldn't be constantly in fear that she was missing something.

 

Solas was not pleased she had drank from the Well, but her promises of using the knowledge to rebuild a better world seemed to put his worries at ease.

It was an overcast, cold day at Skyhold when her love came to her in the war room to find her pacing back and forth, occasionally stopping to massage her temples, the headaches growing stronger the longer she tried to listen to the voices.

Solas stood leaning against the door, his arms crossed, a worried frown on his face as he watched his vhenan.

A large part of him was angry at the fact that she had bound herself to an ancient elven god, but he was also worried about her well-being. As a mortal, the power she had taken in from the Well had to be too much to bear. His heart ached for her at the thought of the strain.

She finally noticed him out of the corner of her eye, and her heart leapt at the sight of him, despite the dull throb of her head. They had not spoken much after the Temple of Mythal, but she knew he was not pleased with her. She was not pleased with herself either, but the alternative was Morrigan, whom she did not trust at all.

“Emma lath,” She said, stopping her pacing and smiling a little, “I wondered what you were up to.”  
Solas uncrossed his arms, his shoulders slumping a little, his disapproving frown turning into sadness as he wished with all his heart he could somehow ease her pain, both physically and emotionally. He wrapped his arms around Lavellan, lips brushing the top of her head, holding her as tightly as he could without hurting her.

“I missed you,” Solas said softly, his disdain for her decision melting away, quickly replaced with sympathy, “how are you feeling?”

She smiled at his inability to stay mad at her. This was how it had always been, and she was always sure to appreciate it, and always give him the love he deserved, for she felt so strongly his desire for affection.

“I am well now, my love.” She stood on her tip-toes to kiss his chin.

He welcomed this gesture and, with his arms still around her, kissed her deeply. With each second that passed that they were lost in each other, he healed her mind from the aching with the magic emanating from his body.

This tender moment was interrupted by Josephine coming into the war room. The advisors had all been in over their heads with attempting to clean things up in the Arbor Wilds, but Josie had especially been busy. She had always been the one to rise the earliest and work the latest, to go the farthest and get the most done, and she loved doing it, despite her occasional complaining.

“Inquisitor!” She said, turning a deep shade of red and stopping dead in her tracks, “and... Solas... I am so sorry, I did not mean to intrude.”

Just as she was turning gracefully on her heel to leave, Solas stopped her, “Ambassador, it is quite alright. The Inquisitor and I were just about to leave.”

He took Lavellan's elbow and guided her out of the room as Josephine stared at them, wide eyed, wondering why she did not knock more often.

Most of Skyhold knew of Solas and Lavellan's intimacy, however, the details were extremely vague, and the two kept to themselves more often than not. Certainly, no one had walked in on them before, locked in each others arms, lips pressed against each other with such desire; with such heat.

Solas took Lavellan to her private quarters, politely opening the doors for her, hand on the small of her back as they walked up the stairs.  
He took her hands in his as they sat down by the small couch next to the stair railing.

“Vhenan, I wish to apologize,” He started off slowly, his eyes searching hers, “I have been distant since the Temple of Mythal and it is unfair of me. I worry for the consequences of-”

Lavellan cut him off, with a finger to his soft lips, “There is no need for apology. I love you, and I understand your concern. I am sorely regretting my decision, as I'm sure you can tell.”

A smile played at her eyes, and he admired her ability to make light of a situation- a gift he had never been blessed with.

Solas put a finger to her chin to draw her face closer, forehead to forehead, eyes closed and the rise and fall of their chests sounding in time with each other. After a few moments of simply enjoying each other's closeness, he lifted his lips to hers and felt all other thoughts fade away. All of his worries- Corypheus, the foci, the Evanuris, even Thedas' well-being were becoming a blur the deeper in love he fell. Along with his worries, the things he cared for also began to slip his mind, most of all, the fade and the spirits who had become his companions.

A nagging at the back of his head. He knew he must tell her the truth or leave, but he couldn't bear the thought of either choices. Solas' love for Lavellan had started as a small spark the day he met her, and quickly growing into a full-fledged house fire that threatened to consume his entire being if he did not change something. But he did not want to.

Solas broke away from their kiss and said, “Vhenan, you are so tired. I feel the weight of the world on your small shoulders, and I know I must do something... Anything to help you.”

“What did you have in mind, emma lath?” Lavellan, beautifully oblivious to the war waging inside her love's heart.

Solas smiled at her. The way his face lit up, his incredibly attractive facial features all seemingly lighting up at once, made her heart jump and she felt her face getting warm as it often did when she was thinking secretive thoughts of him.

“Come with me, Vhenan.”

The elven lovers got to their feet and made their way to the stables, Lavellan's curiosity growing as master Dennet prepared their harts and they packed up and left Skyhold.

It was a long trip, with many stops along the way, although Lavellan wasn't complaining aside from her desire to know the destination. They set up camp fairly often, the main goal of this trip being to relax and enjoy each other's company, which was not a difficult task, and one they quite enjoyed.

The opportunity to lay next to each other every night, away from prying eyes and suspicious whispers was a gift they were eager to take advantage of. Solas could simply not get enough of her- her smooth, sun-tanned skin smelled of strawberries and he refused to begin the day without kissing every inch of her body. They had made love fairly frequently at Skyhold, but nothing like this. Pure freedom and no risk whatsoever, besides the risk of losing themselves in each other, and never coming up for air, which was a very real and troublesome fear, specifically for Solas.

After many long, beautiful days, Solas and Lavellan finally made it to Crestwood- a damp, muggy land with far too many enemies.

“Why here?” Lavellan asked as they came upon a small hill with a trail, leading to a camp already set up. A cave was situated next to it, and they could hear the falling of water and birds singing.

Solas dismounted his light brown hart and tied the reins to a small tree, and helped Lavellan do the same.

“You shall see,” he took her by the hand and lead her through the cave, a smile dancing in his eyes.

The last few days, as they traveled from Skyhold, were pure bliss. Sure, the road was hard and the harts were restless, but being away from the stress of so many dependent stares was incredibly freeing. It was just the two of them, and nothing else mattered.

That morning, before they left, Solas gave her a gown. It was emerald green and eggshell white, strapless and made of pure satin. The cloth flowed so smoothly as she ran her fingers over the patterns, eyes wide, for she had seldom seen such a beautiful gift.

“It's incredible,” Lavellan said slowly, “where did you get this? It cannot have been cheap...”

“Do not think of it,” Solas said, “Vivienne helped me pick it out. The gold was not an issue.”

Her face broke into a broad smile as she held the dress in her arms, stood on her tip-toes, and kissed Solas' cheek in gratitude.

“I would like for you to put it on now,” Solas said, gesturing to the tents.

“What if I get it dirty? This is not the cleanliest place, you know,” Lavellan desperately wanted to put on the dress, but she knew her clumsiness could be a problem.

“Then I shall cast a spell to clean it. Please, Vhenan, I would love to see you in it.”

So she, not so reluctantly, complied and entered the tent.

When she had changed, she walked out to see Solas standing their with the biggest grin she had ever seen. There was nothing but pure adoration on his face, and his normally confident posture was gone, replaced with an awkward, almost guilty position. Lavellan smiled, pleased at his reaction.

“So... How do I look?” She asked.

“You look... Absolutely radiant.” Solas blushed as he said this, knowing the compliment didn't do her justice.

Lavellan smiled at his reaction, knowing she had him wrapped around her finger. She strutted toward him, put her arms on his waist and felt him take a sharp breath. Feeling her close was still an incredible sensation for him.

She kissed his lips, tenderly at first, and slowly getting more passionate as he regained his confidence and tangled his fingers in her long hair.

Solas, through clouded thoughts and beating hearts, remembered the reason he'd brought her here in the first place. He forced himself to pull away, kissed her forehead gently, took her hand and lead her through the cave.

About halfway through, the cave began to light up; small, blue lights glittering in the darkness. Solas could see Lavellan's face had an expression of wonder and amusement, and was pleased with what he'd done.

With the help of the other two mages at Skyhold, and a lot of advice from Cassandra, he had created this special treat with Lavellan's well-being in mind. All of her friends had seen it- she was weighed down greatly with fear and worry, and yet she kept up a brave face. Solas, knowing exactly how that feels, wanted to somehow show his appreciation for her, and her friends were eager to help. While the two were traveling to Crestwood, Vivienne and Dorian had come ahead of time and set things up. Vivienne's incredible taste in all things fine had been extremely handy, while Dorian's romantic side came into play.

They passed through the cave and came out to see two large statues of harts, facing each other, as waterfalls poured down into a small pool below. The statues were also illuminated with the small blue lights, and a table and chairs sat in the middle of the cove. As soon as they entered, Solas flicked his fingers and a violin began to play, something Lavellan did not recognize- perhaps something he had discovered in the fade. He then waved his hand and food appeared on the table, nearly a feast, prepared to perfection. The cove had once been home to a nest of wyverns, and Vivienne would hardly set foot inside before Dorian got rid of the smell, replacing it with strong but sweet perfume.

“You... did all of this for me?” Lavellan's eyes were wide as she stared all around, in awe of the beauty of the cove.

Solas was now extremely delighted at her excitement; for her happiness was his own.

“I had a great deal of help. Vivienne and Dorian prepared this while we were traveling, Sera and The Iron Bull helped me keep you occupied and unaware as I planned. Varric, Cole, and Cassandra helped we with the details. Cole was especially useful, being able to read your emotions,” he smiled as he recalled his spirit friend attempting to help, and giving out far too many secrets than were needed.

“I don't know what to say,” Lavellan had tears in her eyes now. She saw now, even if the world were to fall to the hand of Corypheus and her companions were all she had the power to save, it would still be a success. The weight in her heart was replaced with love. Love for her friends, love for the Inquisition, love for this man standing in front of her.

“Oh, Vhenan, please do not cry. Is something inadequate?” Solas quickly brushed the tear from her cheek, concern chiseled into his face.

“No, emma lath, it's all amazing,” Lavellan smiled, “That is the problem. I do not deserve the friends I have...” She trailed off and looked around again at the beauty of it all.  
Solas took her in his arms and stroked her hair.

“Ahh... Ma emma lath. I would do anything for your smile.”

Lavellan sniffled a little, still overwhelmed with love, and kissed his cheek. Solas took her face in both hands and looked into her eyes, having to crouch slightly, which always made her smile.

When he saw that she was truly well, and simply grateful for her friends, he kissed her lips once, twice, three times, and lead her to the table, where he pulled the chair out for her.  
Her dress was just short enough that the hem didn't touch the ground, and she wondered if that was also a work of magic.

The table was full the to edge; exotic meats and vegetables, sauces and puddings, and, Solas' favorite, frilly cakes from Orlais.

Solas cleared his throat and his ears turned pink, “Ahh, Vhenan, I hope you don't mind... I would rather enjoy trying out the cakes first.”

Lavellan just smiled and passed the plate to him, but only after taking a cake for herself and setting it on her plate, licking the frosting off her fingers.  
They ate and drank white wine and Solas told humorous stories of his adventures in the fade, stories he did not normally tell, but wanted to share with her, because he loved to hear her bell-like laughter.

They were nowhere near finished with their feast, but they were so full and slightly tipsy, they had to stop.

Seeing Solas this far from sober was one of Lavellan's favorite things, because he had such a hard time not smiling. She'd never forget the time he actually went to Harald's Rest for a drink with Bull, Sera, Blackwall, and she. He was surprisingly good at handling his liquor, but of course, Sera would sneak in the harder stuff. By the end of the night, he was a chuckling, snorting, drunken mess, declaring to the entire tavern how in love with Lavellan he was. Varric, of course, sat in a dark corner and jotted it all down, gathering ideas for his next book. And what was more romantic and thrilling than a normally quiet, reserved, apostate elf drunkenly shouting his love for the leader of a large and powerful organization?  
He wasn't nearly this drunk this time, but he did have a little trouble sliding out of his seat and coming around the table to ask Lavellan to dance.  
“But of course, ma sa'lath.”

She took his hand and he guided her away from the table, the two of them giggling as she tripped over her now bare feet.

Solas began by spinning her around slowly, her dress fanning out around her and her hair flowing gracefully as she fell into his arms. Their faces were pink from the wine and the pure elation of such a magical evening.

Normally, Solas would have walked her through a choreographed dance from the ancient days of Arlathan, but right now, he preferred to simply hold her close and sway to slow sounds of the violin playing. And Lavellan did not complain.

After the song ended, Solas asked if she was ready to go to bed.

“Yes, but... I would love to sleep under the stars and the magic lights, right here in this cove.”  
Solas smiled, eager to perform another miracle for his love. He started by clearing away the food so as not to attract animals, and set up sleeping bags.

“Ahh, two bedrolls?” inquired Lavellan, “I believe one large would would suffice...”

“Ma nuvenin,” said Solas, his heart fluttering. He removed one sleeping bag and made the single one a few inches bigger.

As Solas used his magical abilities to make a comfortable sleeping area directly under the opening of the cove, where the stars were the brightest, Lavellan went back through the tunnel to get their supplies and a change of clothes.

Reluctant to change out of her beautiful new dress, she picked out a flowy, white sleeping gown with golden designs, that formed to her figure in an appealing way. She changed in the tent, as it could never be sure who would come upon their tiny encampment, and brought a pair of leggings and a sweater for Solas to sleep in.

He had been wearing a fur coat with a silver shirt underneath, and white, tight leg wrappings. He was relieved to change into something much more comfortable, although Lavellan adored the occasions he chose to dress up a little.

“You truly look like a goddess, vhenan,” Solas said, stroking her face with the back of his hand, studying her facial features with his brilliant eyes.

They were standing, bodies pressed together, a few feet from their sleeping bag, after Solas had changed. Lavellan was eager to curl up with him and fall asleep, the wine making her sleepy-eyed, but Solas insisted on pulling her close first.  
Lavellan smiled at his compliment, enjoying the way his fingers felt on her skin. She closed her eyes and drank in the intimacy of the moment, knowing these moments with him were few and precious.

“Come, emma lath, let's watch the stars,” Lavellan insisted, feeling sleep creep upon her. It had to be at least midnight.

Solas took her hand as they walked to the sleeping bag, unable to keep his hands from her skin.

They lay on their backs, hand in hand, looking up at the stars. Solas tried to focus on the stars, finding constellations and spotting the rare shooting star, but he could not keep his eyes from his little elf.

Lavellan was intrigued by the constellations, and of course, Solas knew the names and stories of every one of them. As she dozed off, she listened intently to the low thrum of his voice, and the stars in the sky seemed to come down and encircle the two elven lovers, dancing just for them.

______________________

 

Solas and Lavellan awoke the next morning, dew covering the ground, birds chirping happily, and sunlight just barely coming through the opening of the cove, creating a shade of pink and light orange.

They were holding each other very tightly, Solas' light snores falling in time with his quiet heartbeat, his exhales moving a few loose strands of her hair and tickling her face.  
Lavellan woke first and kissed Solas' long nose, causing him to stir. He opened his eyes and smiled at her, for this was his favorite part of the day. He could never get used to seeing her bright, violet eyes in the morning.

They held each other silently for a few minutes, taking in the beauty of the day and feeling their bodies warm up under the sun.  
Finally, they forced themselves to get up and begin the day.

“I have some adventures planned,” Solas said as he packed up the bed roll, “starting with getting ourselves cleaned up.”  
After changing out of their pajamas, they mounted their harts and began riding. It was about an hour to the pond from the cove, and they talked and laughed the entire way, soaking up the sunlight.

They made it to the pond and Solas helped Lavellan dismount her hart, kissing her hand when she was safely on the ground next to him. He lead her to the dock and began taking off his sweater, preparing to bathe as much as possible in a pond in the middle of Crestwood.

“Solas, there's a scout camp just up the hill,” she said, attempting to stop him, “what if they see us?”

Solas smiled, and did not stop undressing, “Well, then they'll have a nice view, as soon as you take off your outfit.”

She punched him playfully, looked around cautiously, and quickly took off the pants and shirt she had hastily thrown on that morning.

Solas was already undressed and in the water, studying Lavellan with a smirk. He could never get tired of seeing her awkwardly naked, afraid of being seen; of what people might think. All anyone really knew of their relationship was that they cared greatly for each other, and that was all they truly needed to know.

But Solas was always guarded, always looking behind his back, for fear of revealing his secret- and he knew in his heart that if they were to find out the truth, the details of his relationship with the Inquisitor would only make it much, much worse.

When he was with her, however, his guard; the brick wall he had been building around his heart for all of these long months, trembled. It never failed to throw him off, for no one had been able to sway his self discipline in such a long time. It made him want to leave and never look back, but every time the thought crossed his mind, Lavellan would enter his head; her bright red hair smelling of lavender and skin glistening in the moonlight. He could not leave, even if he wanted to.

They swam around lazily, Solas finding it very hard to resist the tempting thoughts of taking her on the bank by the pond, her lithe body begging to be kissed.  
Lavellan knew of his lustful thoughts, for she had seen the look in his eye many times before, and enjoyed teasing him- kicking onto her back and swimming away when he attempted to grab her and pull her close.

Finally, she dove underwater and swam over to the frustrated elf, coming up just in front of him and hooking her legs around his waist. She had the biggest grin on her face, pleased at the reaction she had procured, and began kissing his neck slowly.

Solas was terribly discomfited, enjoying being the tease but loathing to be the teased.

“Inquisitor, we should get going,” he said, trying to avoid her kisses.

“Inquisitor?” she laughed, throwing her head back, “don't be so formal, emma lath...”

He felt silly at her teasing, but smiled and began kissing and biting her pink lips.  
Their pace quickened, their need for each other grew and overwhelmed them. Solas carried Lavellan out of the water and their hearts beat faster as they lost themselves in one another.

 

_________________

 

After a passionate, cold, wet, tumble by the pond, they lay in the grass and sand and attempted to catch their breath.

Solas chuckled, a deep, low sound full of mirth, “I would place a bet that you have never done that before, Vhenan.”

Lavellan sighed and rolled over, drawing him close, “No, emma lath, I have not. But it was certainly an experience I won't forget.”

They got up slowly and, shaking the sand from their sticky bodies, got dressed and mounted their harts, eager to continue the day.

The rest of the day was a bright flash of excitement and adventure, the two elves exploring every cave and bounding across every plain they came by, their harts more than willing to gallop through the fields.

The smiles seemed stuck on their faces, and their lips were chapped from kissing, but they cared not, for the day belonged to them and the world was wide open.

Solas felt himself slipping; felt himself forgetting the reason he was with the Inquisition in the first place. Perhaps he simply didn't care any longer, or perhaps her tantalizing gaze and intimate touch was enough to wipe away all of his fears and concerns. His mission was hanging on by a thread in the back of his mind, and his greatest desire was to cut the thread and dedicate everything he had to Lavellan; this one love he knew he would never find again if lost.

The day was coming to a close and there was starlight in their eyes. As they returned to the cove where they planned to stay again that night, Solas made his decision. He was going to let go of his past and make Lavellan his future- he was finally going to tell her the truth.

They walked hand in hand, slowly; lazily through the tunnel and into the cove, the babbling of the waterfalls their background music.  
Solas stopped Lavellan, and turned to gaze into her eyes.

“I was trying to determine some way to show you what you mean to me,” his right hand stroked her cheek, his left hand clinging to her with a hesitant nervousness at what he was about to do.

“I'm listening, and I can offer a few suggestions,” Lavellan was playing, blissfully unaware of what was about to happen.  
Solas smiled at her teasing.

“I shall bear that in mind. For now, the best gift I can offer- is the truth,” his heart was racing, his mind was clouded, “you are unique. In all of Thedas I never expected to find someone who could draw my attention from the fade. You have become important to me... More important than I could have imagined.”

“As you are to me, emma lath,” Lavellan brought his hands to her lips. He was still holding her hands tightly, afraid to let go.

With this confirmation of her feelings, Solas continued, “Then what I must tell you,” his voice broke and his strength suddenly wavered. He could not tell her, and time was running out, “...the truth. Your face, the vallaslin, in my journeys in the fade, I have discovered what those marks mean.”  
Lavellan was confused, and taken aback at the pained look on his face, “They honor the elven gods,” she said.

“No,” Solas was determined to find another way to turn this conversation, “they are slave markings, or at least they were in the times of ancient Arlathan.”

“My clans keeper said they honored he gods. These are their symbols,” she was frightened now, hurt that he would suggest such a thing. Could the Dalish have gotten this wrong, too?

“Yes, that's right,” he said slowly, trying to find the right words to say, mind still racing at the lost opportunity, “a noble would mark his slaves to honor the god he worshipped. After Arlathan fell, the Dalish forgot.”

“So this is, what... Just another thing the Dalish got wrong?” The pain was clear on her face, angry that the Dalish could have made such a foolish mistake; embarrassed that she had been going on for years now with slave markings on her face.

“I'm sorry,” Solas said sincerely as Lavellan sighed.

“We tried to preserve our culture, and this is what we keep? Relics of a time when we were no better than Tevinter?”  
Solas felt her pain and all he wanted was to hold her, but it was too late. The moment that he could have told her the truth had come and gone, and he needed to decide what was to happen next.

“Don't say that. For all they got wrong, the Dalish did one thing right- they made you,” he smiled at her, attempting to bring light back into her eyes, “I didn't tell you this to hurt you. If you like, I know a spell... I can remove the vallaslin.”

Lavellan looked up at him, slightly suspicious that a self-taught elven apostate could possess such a power.

“If what you're saying is true...” she trailed off, still unsure.

“It is,” Solas confirmed, willing her to trust him.

“Then... My people vowed never to submit to slavery,” she was slowly coming to her decision, knowing that this was her emma lath, her one love. She could trust him.

“I am so sorry for causing you pain,” Solas said, and he meant it with all of his heart, “I look and you and I see what you truly are, and you deserve better than what those cruel marks represent.”

“Then cast your spell. Take the vallaslin away.”

Solas lead her to a slightly less damp patch of grass a few feet away and told her to sit. They got onto their knees, facing each other, and Lavellan took a deep breath, preparing herself to be changed forever.

Solas looked at her with kindness as he cast his spell, a blue light emitting from his hands, slowly taking away the light blue designs from her beautiful face. His hands ran through her long hair lovingly when he had finished.

It was only a few moments, but it was incredibly intimate for the both of them. Lavellan had put her full trust in Solas, and she believed deeply in her heart that he would be by her side for the rest of her days.

“...Ar lasa mala revas. You are free.”

Solas helped her to her feet, his eyes never leaving her now un-marked face. He could not stop himself, and he knew if he did not act quickly, all he had worked for would be forgotten.  
He studied Lavellan's face, completely lost in her delicate features, now so much clearer with the vallaslin gone.

“You are... so beautiful.”

Solas kissed her, long and slow and passionate, every fiber of his being desiring to be hers forever, to just let go already.

He pulled away, and it hit him. The guard he had built; the brick wall he had constructed around his heart with his bare hands, had crumbled around him. He had been too weak, too blind to see that this was wrong, all of it, and the blood was on his hands.

His face fell, a deep sadness that had brooded in his heart for thousands of years came rushing back, crushing his heart.

“And... I am sorry,” he let go of her hands, “I have distracted you from your duty. It will never happen again.”

Lavellan felt herself falling, felt herself gasp for air as the hand around her neck tightened, “Solas...”

Her voice was desperate, which broke the remaining fragments of his heart into even smaller pieces, “Please, Vhenan.”

“Solas, don't leave me, not now... I love you,” she could barely hear her own voice, her chest felt as though someone had smashed into it with a hammer.

The pain in her voice was nearly too much for him to deal with, and all he could do was shake his head, walking slowly away from her.

“You have a rare and marvelous spirit, in another world...” He cursed the very person he was, cursed every circumstance that had made him fall so deeply in love only to be torn away from it.

“Why not this one?” Lavellan was lost, in a haze of doubt and confusion. Her legs were numb but she walked to him, wanting to hold him again.

“I... can't. I'm sorry,” he said it again, this time the words fell flat.  
As Solas left the tunnel leading to the cove, a single tear slid down his face, and again he cursed his existence. He mounted his hart and took off with a gallop, not looking back.

 

_____________________

 

He rode his hart fiercely, anger and disappointment brooding in his mind, until he reached his breaking point.

He stopped his hart and dismounted, falling to his knees, choking sobs escaping from his lips, his face in his hands. His hart whinnied and stomped uncertainly in its place.  
Solas remained there until the pain in his sides subsided and the tears slowed. He heard the sound of heavy hooves hitting the ground quickly, urgently, and looked up in time to see a small figure on the back of a mighty hart galloping over a hill, illuminated in the moonlight.

He got back on the steed and followed Lavellan, worried about her being alone in Crestwood, with her anger and sadness, no less. He was already regretting his decision greatly, but knew in his heart that it had to be done, for he could not risk truly losing her when his plans took place.

Solas kept a keen eye on Lavellan's destination, and trotted behind slowly, tears still streaming down his face.

He had learned long ago that tears were not a thing to be ashamed of, and thus did not feel the need to wipe them from his cheeks. Additionally, he was much too focused on not losing sight of Lavellan to think of his own vanity.

His heart ached for her; somehow, he had fallen even deeper in love with her than he ever was before. Knowing he had caused her pain was unbearable, and he felt close to breaking down again, but he willed himself to keep going.

Solas saw Lavellan turn into an inlet down a short hill surrounded by young trees and dismount her hart. He tied his hart to a tree some distance away, careful to ensure the animal's contentment, as harts had an extremely loud whinny when upset. Slowly and silently, the elf crept up to where Lavellan was setting up camp. He felt a tightness in his chest as he realized his love was sobbing quietly as she laid out her bedroll.

Solas sat against a tree as hot tears burned his eyes once again, and he eventually fell asleep there; afraid to stray too far from Lavellan that night.


End file.
